she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
