I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
