Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
