Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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