if you like me you must not know who I am
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
