You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
