i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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