Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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