I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
