Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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