Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
