He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
