Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
