Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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