Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
