We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
