I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
