I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize