I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
