there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
