it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
