i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
