What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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