just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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