I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude i'm inner monologue high
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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