so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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