just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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