im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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