1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
zippers are such a cool invention
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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