her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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