Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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