I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
