I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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