just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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