i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
