Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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