no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
not ubering you a puppy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
