So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
