He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
