I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
