you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
