Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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