I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
