Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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