Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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