the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
