best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
