things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
