doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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