i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I cut my penus on the lid.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
