I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
