no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
