I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
