It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
