He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
