Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
