sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
