we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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