I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize