I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
