Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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