I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
