Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

Fav 4 825 1434
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

Fav 24 1715 5558
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

Fav 30 4229 1648
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

Fav 3 3618 1498
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

Fav 7 5686 1678
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

Fav 10 2162 1385
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(571): View more from Virginia

we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

Fav 8 2946 1222
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.

Fav 6 1196 624
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(609): View more from New Jersey

im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices

Fav 0 18 20
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