I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
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he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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